Berlin Half is next Sunday, 8 days away. I’ve struggled recently to find the time and energy to stick to my training plan and have missed a number of runs. Being insanely busy has played its part in this, but I know that my mindset around being busy has been even more influential.
There’s a big difference between the quiet side of my job (project management, meetings, report writing etc) and the busier side of arranging and delivering workshops and presentations. When I approach what tends to be clusters of delivery I let myself launch into stress mode and lose the balanced perspective I normally strive for. I brace myself with mushrooming to-do lists and plunge into weeks of designated ‘all work, no play’ and my body goes tense, my stomach clenches and my heart tightens.
I allow my fear of the unknown and my worry of the impact of it on my life take over and influence my ability to do what I know I want to do. I want to see my friends and not become a hermit because I can’t face arranging anything, I want to eat healthily, I want to practice my yoga. I want to take the time to just sit in the sunshine in a park, to be a good friend, daughter, sister. I want to do track, I want to run with rundemcrew, I want to get my long run in on the weekend.
I see what I’m doing and I’m not having it. Shift a gear and release the grip to let space and energy happen. It’s all in the mind.